Hi all! It's 5am your time, 10pm mine.

We got to sleep in a bit today, and got picked up around 8am for our trip up to Kuranda and the Atherton Tablelands. We took the 'Original Kuranda Scenic Railway' up, which took about an hour and a half, and went through lots of tunnels, around lots of curves, and over lots of bridges. Then we got shuffled over to the Skyrail (or something like that), and went back down in a gondola over the rainforest canopy. Very cool! We enjoyed watching the cockatoos flying about. Then we got in the coach and went back up to Kuranda, where we had about an hour and a half or so to look around. Kuranda is a little touristy village, which apparently became 'famous' for it's markets. There's the 'Original Kuranda Markets', and the 'Heritage Kuranda Markets', and the 'Kuranda Honey Markets' and the 'New Kuranda Markets', and probably half a dozen or more than I've missed. And they all carry the same imported Asian shit you can get at home in Chinatown. Ok, except for the kangaroo testicle change purses... I've never seen THOSE anywhere before. There were a couple of tourist attractions, too. I can't figure out for the LIFE of me why anyone would pay $14 to go into a bird aviary here when all you have to do is sit in the park with a sandwich and have as many birds as you want come and try to steal your food! Gee, can you tell I'm a bit jaded? There were TWO bird aviaries, and one butterfly conservatory (same as Butterfly World near Butchart) and then some sort of garden where you could get your picture taken with a stoned koala. Yeah, a bit jaded.

But we did enjoy ourselves. When we rode down the Skyrail (or whatever it's called), we popped over to the Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park and bought tickets for the diner show at nearly $200. I had heard that it was very good, and the bus driver confirmed that, as did a few other people. More on that later.

In the afternoon, we went to a fruit plantation (bananas, macadamia nuts and something else). They also make distilled liquours (can't spell that word) from their fruits, a side eco-tourism business. We sampled a banana liquer (can't spell that word, either), a lemon one (yuck) and a coffee one (yum!). We liked the banana best, and bought a bottle. Not quite sure how that's going to pack in the backpack!

Next we went to a lake that is an extinct volcanic crater. We took the boat cruise, and saw incredible wildlife. Ducks that tried eating our scones, turtles, eels, more birds... and snakes! We saw a python! Also saw a small black snake that is EXTREMELY poisonous... the guide didn't really mention that till we were almost right over it. A good cruise, the highlight of the day.

We made it back to town with about 25 minutes to spare till the bus came for us for the dinner show. We were both really looking forward to it. The building was very impressive, and had this neat paved courtyard that was like the Ecsher lizards.

Well, unfortunately, that was the highlight.

This was by far the most embarassing effort at 'entertainment' that I ever hope to experience. This was TERRIBLE. DO NOT GO SEE THIS. Drew and I got duped out of almost $200, and we will DEFINITELY be stopping by there tomorrow to seek a refund.

Where do I start. I probably don't have enough internet time to acurately describe the horror!

We were told that we would see two shows, then have dinner, and then a third show. We first went into this big room, with artefacts and paintings, very interesting and informative, and very polished. So far so good. They gave us sticks to bang together, the Asians really got off on that. Bang bang bang. I thought I was going insane. Then the music and story started, and a fellow in glow in the dark paint was doing something near the ceiling. Then this big blow up doll, the kind you see at gas stations, started doing something, then there was flashing lights. And the big blow up doll said 'don't mess with me'. I'm sure there was more, but I really am trying to block it all out.

I was not aware of the fact that traditional aboriginal people had glow in the dark green and purple paint, nor had access to air compressors.

Then we went outside, and were banging the sticks and singing and all that. These 5 guys in great costumes were trying to start fire with firesticks and coconut tinder, just like the guys at the Polynesian Cultural Center on Oahu. But the guys on Oahu can do it... these guys couldn't. We must have stood there for nearly 45 minutes, banging these gawd awful sticks, waiting and waiting. The Asians were loving it. Finally they got it going (someone gave them a lighter, they may or may not have used it). Then one of the guys shot a flaming arrow into the air, the timing was off with the big explosion, and a canoe full of other guys came ashore.

I thought, gee, when are the shows going to start.

Oh. Those were them. Hmmmm...

Then we got herded into a big room for supper, and all the Asians rushed the buffet tables. You can just imagine. Am I painting a vivid enough picture here? Everyone else just watched, then joined in. Drew bashed past a group of Japanese women... when in Rome....!

So we're sitting there, eating mediocre food. Let me tell you, the buffet on the Spirit class boats is just about the same as this food. Not terrible, but nothing to write home about. No one even came around to offer water or anything. I kept thinking... I wonder when the shows are going to start?

So most of the way through dinner, and the 'world famous Tjapukai Dancers' took the stage. Funny, I'm thinking to myself... I've never heard of these guys!

Oops, better publish before I run out of time.